A drama free life is one of the attributing factors in the beautiful life we shared with Kiyana. We were blessed to have a great relationship with Kiyana’s mom.
There were no restictions, no bickering, and no tension to restrict the bond we all shared with Kiyana. The entire parenting situation was stress free; the exact opposite of the experiences you hear about from so many other blended families. I attribute Kiyana’s joy and happiness in large part to the way we supported and respected each other.
I also know that beautiful experience is what made the days after her death so unbelievably difficult. In addition to the extreme grief of losing our “Baby Girl”, we also were blindsided by the disrespect we received from Kiyana’s mom and her family in the next days.
After the initial calls we received from Jacey and her mom, we were left in the dark for days. All attempts to contact them were ignored. We just wanted to make sure Jacey was okay, and understand what happened. The only information being provided was conflicting news reports.
After 3 days, Gerald finally spoke with Jacey’s mom. He wanted to tell her we started a donation fund to help with funeral costs. The only response was, “the funeral costs are all taken care of”. A life on insurance policy existed. Another thing we realized was the funeral had all been arranged without any regard for Gerald.
The next day I made a call. they refused the donation because they didnt want us to coontrol the funeral. REALLY? She also said Jacey was afraid of Gerald so they put her in hiding. Again REALLY? I had a hard time comprehending this new world of drama and disrespect, but we focused on the loving relationship that Kiyana knew and would want.
There were two request Gerald made for involvement in the funeral. He wanted desparately to sing their song one last time, and he wanted to be pullbarer. They allowed one. He did sing one last time to his “Baby Girl”. The other was denied.
We arrived to this day with dignity intact, and honored Kiyana’s love and compassionate nature. No amount of disrespect could make us waiver from honoring our “Baby Girl”. Even leaving out Kiyana’s Grandma and Grandpa from our side, who she loved dearly.
KIYANA was our main priority, and we needed the opportunity ro say see her one last time. We would not let drama be the last memory we had together.